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You have watched and worried about your daughter or friend who married several years ago. She and her husband have attended family dinners and outings. As parents and friends, you have seen bruises on her; a black eye one time and a bruise on her cheek another. You have carefully approached her yet she denies that anything abusive is happening. She is quick to answer when questioned as if the answers have been pre-orchestrated. "I was dusting the kids'shelves and one of the toys fell and hit my face." Or, she is wearing a turtleneck in summer and explains she is chilled because of a respiratory infection. Yet when she thinks no one is watching, she pulls the turtleneck away from her neck because of the heat, and the bruises are visible.
As parents and friends you are concerned. The children seem to cling to her and not their Dad. When her husband or significant other is speaking, if she tries to interrupt, he scowls at her, not knowing that his facial expression is a warning sign.
When her children were infants, her parents offered to care for them. Her children, now ages five and eight rarely see their grandparents alone. Why?
One night she appears at her parents door, her face bloody, and her body quivering. You quickly get her inside. She has reached that point where she is terrified. Her house is an hour away from her parents. They know they can protect her and their grandchildren.
If you are a parent or friend watching your friend or daughter living in danger, you too need to intervene. . .even it it causes a breech in kidship or friendship. Get her to safety, to a counselor or a shelter. And BE A GOOD LISTENER.
How can I suggest all of the above? Because I was an abused woman for eighteen years, way before Domestic Violence was a felony. In my book, "For Worse Never Better: Diary of An Abused Wife and Escape to Freedom" I deal with all the emotions that create the psychological imprisonment. I wrote it to understand what I was living and why and to help the millions of abused women in this country seek help.
Domestic Violence is a serious issue. So many women end up severly hurt or, worse, are killed.
If you know of anyone, a friend, family who are being abused, I urge you to help them. Abused women need all the support they can get. You need to be caring but strong. Only good friends and family can help these women in need.
Protect and guide them to the life of freedom they deserve.
